It takes a village to raise a MOTHER

I thought it was only appropriate, with it recently being International Woman’s Day, that I share about a recent visit to the hospital to see my dear friend, Carolina, who had just given birth to a precious baby girl. A woman’s body is an amazing thing, and the friendship between women can be just as amazing! 

This past week, I visited my friend, Carolina, who had just delivered a beautiful baby girl. Normally I wouldn’t want to intrude on a new mom because I know all too well how she must be feeling, but this time a mutual friend invited me and I was thrilled to go. We met up with a couple other mutual friends and drove together to meet the awaited baby girl, Skylar. Walking into the hospital room was like a scene out of movie; so many hugs and kisses and so much love. I just stood back and observed the room. You couldn’t help but feel the sense of family and love. Everyone was taking pictures and taking big whiffs of that new baby smell. It was such a happy time; the way it should be! Balloons filled the room, and each of us had a small gift to show our love. 

It reminded me of that saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”.

According to Wikipedia, “It takes a village to raise a child” is thought to be “an African proverb that means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe environment. The villagers look out for the children.” 

I also like to think it means that the mother is surrounded by a community of other mother’s who work together to complete the daily tasks of life and motherhood; a community of women who can laugh together, cry together and share all of life’s precious moments together; a village raising a mother. 

But how do you get a village?

I think you get that village by finding people in a similar life stage and then giving them a piece of you that might be uncomfortable at first but doing it any way! Finding your village means helping out a friend even if they don’t ask. It means knowing that person so well that they don’t even need to ask for something and you’ve already thought of it. It means trying to work on someone else’s village instead of trying to work on your own village. Being vulnerable. Being real. Being open and nonjudgemental. 

So often it seems like people don’t want to burden anyone by asking for help, but how wonderful could it be to have friends who know what you need and are willing to do it without even having to ask! Also, how refreshing would it be to be able to ask for help when you truly need it and to know that you’ve got someone who is ready and waiting!

But it can be hard to find that balance between helping your close friends and/or helping anyone who might need support-especially at church. There are so many women in my life; so many amazing, strong, beautiful women I would love to get to know and be able to join their village, but it’s unrealistic. I can’t be in everyone’s village. But I can be nice and I can try to help when possible, but I need boundaries and limits. How far do they live from me? Are our kids similar ages and do they get along? Does she, too, blast hip-hop music when she’s driving alone in the car? All important questions. 

A few days later, Carolina was discharged from the hospital and I had the opportunity to make them dinner. I had been in a funk all day but when I got to her house I couldn’t help but feel closeness and community as I held her daughter and talked about motherhood I was again reminded of how important it is to have women in your life that lift you up, encourage you, and help you through all of life’s seasons. 

I can’t say I’ve got the whole village thing sorted out yet, but as women, it should be our goal to always have a village. Even if it changes often and even if its a village of 2-3 ladies, find them, love them, serve them and walk with them. Motherhood is no joke. It is probably the hardest thing any woman will go through. 

So here’s to the women in my life who are part of my village. Not only am I blessed with an amazing mom and sister, but I’ve got an equally amazing mother-in-law and sister-in-law. And besides them, I know I can count on several others who will always be there for me when I need them. You know who you are. Thank you, ladies. 

And congratulations to you, Carolina, on the birth of your sweet angel! Thank you for reminding me how great it is to be a part of a village. From the moment we met, you’ve shown me what it truly means to love and support those around you! Skylar doesn’t even know how blessed she is to have you in her life! 

Be good. Be wild. 

Xoxo Rachel